By: Breanna Potts M.S. Eating Disorder, OCD & Trauma Therapist
Have you ever heard someone say that therapeutic progress has more to do with the work you do outside of the therapy room than inside the therapy room? It kind of sounds confusing, but there is truth to it! In therapy, there is a great deal of work that goes into your recovery journey, but maybe you feel like you don’t actually know what this “work” entails, or what it even means. I personally have felt like this “work” was some elusive secret that I could never uncover, but it turns out, there is no secret; it is just something that takes a little time, patience, and soul-searching to discover. I have learned that doing the work in recovery may be simple, but it is not easy! So, wherever you find yourself in the journey called recovery, I am so glad you are here! My goal is to help explain what “doing the work” looks like inside the therapy room versus outside of the therapy room and to leave you with some practical strategies you can take with you!
What is “doing the work” supposed to mean anyway? - from an eating disorder therapist
I’m sure we have all heard about “doing the work.” Such a broad statement, yet filled with such careful detail. So, let’s talk about what “doing the work” even means. When you set out on your recovery journey, there is a lot of hard work you put into the process and it doesn’t necessarily come in a fun-sized, step-by-step, magical order that you can just follow and then go on to live a life painted with sunshine and rainbows. I am so sorry to break the news! I wish it were that easy, too. Instead, the “work” is a unique collection of tools, tips, and tricks that you take time with your treatment team to uncover and identify that work for you! Every person’s journey looks different, and we have all heard it before, but it bears repeating: What worked for one person does not necessarily mean it will work for another person. So, a lot of therapy inside the therapy room looks like talking through your struggles and experiences, identifying themes and patterns of thinking and behaving, and exploring your values and goals, which then allows room to “try on” different coping strategies and other tools to see what feels authentic and fitting for you! This is all such important work that you are so deserving of!! From here, it is encouraged that you take the insights and strategies learned in therapy and apply them outside the therapy room—aka your day-to-day life!
The very hard task of application - according to an eating disorder therapist
Okay, so now that we’ve talked a bit about the work you do inside the therapy room, let’s explore what this can look like outside of the therapy room. This can be one of the hardest parts of recovery, but friend, we can do hard things!! To be in full transparency here, the application step has been (and still can be!) the hardest part for me as well because it requires us to put what we learned into action. This can make our insides scream because we are beginning to challenge the things we do that make us feel safe, even if we also know those things are not helpful or sustainable in the long run. But, we are going to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves the whole way through because all this internal screaming is just the wounded versions of ourselves trying to keep us safe in the only way they know how. To help break this down, let me share an example from my life inspired by my fur baby, Maverick.
Just the other day I had to take a different route on a walk with my dog. Do you know what he did when we got to the corner and turned left instead of right? He pulled back, laid on the ground, and refused to go left. I quite literally had to kneel down, help him up, tell him “It’s okay,” and gently guide him left. He then followed (tentatively of course), but his insides were likely screaming because I was asking him to do things differently from what he had been doing every day for the past many days. In the end, we made it home in one piece. A win! I fully realize this is a dramatic example and definitely not the same as challenging your eating disorder, but the concept of challenging behaviors is very similar. If you extend yourself gentleness and compassion, and allow your support system to help you along the way, you will also make it home safely.
Incorporating Therapy into Everyday Life
Now that we’ve made it this far, I want to leave you with some practical, tangible ways you can incorporate therapy into your everyday life to support yourself along your healing journey. The purpose here is to choose what resonates with you and to try integrating these tools into your day-to-day life!
Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being fully aware and present in the moment, without judgment. It involves paying attention to thoughts, feelings, and sensations in a purposeful way, which allows us to experience our current circumstances more vividly. This can look like taking pauses throughout the day to do some breathing exercises (or even just pausing to take a few deep breaths) and noticing how this makes your mind and body feel. You can also set reminders or alarms in your phone to remind you to take a break and practice intentionally bringing your attention to the present moment and noticing your experience.
Reflection/Journaling: Take time to reflect on all your wins and progress along the way no matter how big or small it may seem! You can set check-in points with yourself throughout the day (or week) to assess how you are feeling, where your stress levels are, how your choices align/misalign with your goals and values, and how your media intake may be affecting you, and then making adjustments as needed! I recommend combining this with journaling so that you have a little keepsake for yourself that you can look back on over time! Some people like to reflect using a physical journal, a journaling app, or even their notes app on their phone. The key is to find what feels most comfortable for you and fitting for your lifestyle. There are also so many different kinds of journaling than traditional free writing. If you’d like to learn more about different styles of journaling, read here: https://www.skillshare.com/en/blog/10-types-of-journaling-for-peace-of-mind/
Practicing Gratitude: The process of practicing gratitude can be so healing and it is not denying what is hard, unfair, and scary. Our brains are wired for survival, so we are biologically created to scan for threats, see negatives, and survive. While this is so helpful for survival and keeping us safe from danger, it does not mean we can’t operate any other way. Practicing gratitude is quite literally training your brain to stretch its perspective and make room for other truths! So cool!! When we practice gratitude, we are holding space for what is hard and allowing ourselves to notice what is simultaneously going well. Please do not get this confused with toxic positivity—we have no room for that here! Gratitude is not “thinking positive” or forcing a feeling that is not authentic; it is an intentional acknowledgment of what is good even in the midst of the struggle. For example, if you are having a hard body image day, try taking a moment to acknowledge something your body does for you even when you don’t like how it looks. This is hard, but with practice and patience, you will notice an encouraging difference. Some ways to practice gratitude are to keep a running list of things you are grateful for, starting your day by naming 1-3 things you are grateful for, or keeping a jar and adding one thing you are grateful for to it each day!
Self-Compassion: When we talk about self-compassion, it’s normal to have the urge to roll your eyes, but hear me out because this is so important! For just a moment, imagine a friend trying out a new hobby or skill and seeing them struggle with it. Would you tell them they are a failure and they will never get it right? Of course not!! You would likely encourage them in their journey by pointing out how dedicated they are, how hard they are trying, reminding them to take breaks, and highlighting all the progress they are making along the way. You deserve the same compassion and encouragement. You are human and life is hard, so please don’t make your life harder by not allowing yourself to be human! Mistakes make breaks, and when mending those breaks with self-compassion, you are allowing the light to shine through to the places in you that need it the most.
Be encouraged!
I hope you found something in this little blog to take with you on your recovery journey and experience the healing you are fighting for! We believe in you, we see you, and we are rooting for you always!! You are never alone and we would be honored to support you in your journey!
Additional Resources:
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We offer a wide variety of services related to eating disorder recovery including trauma therapy! We offer Weekly Support Groups, Nutrition Services, and Family and Parent Therapy as well as Coaching, all tailored to meet the specific needs of the individual. We offer our services for Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating, and Orthorexia as well as Maternal Mental Health, and eating disorder therapy for athletes online in New Jersey, Delaware, South Carolina, Maryland, Florida, Vermont, and Connecticut! We are here to offer our support and understanding in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
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Recovered and Restored is an eating disorder therapy center founded by Gabrielle Morreale, LPC. We specialize in helping teens and young women heal from eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia, and binge eating disorder and treat disordered eating, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. We provide eating disorder therapy in the towns of Horsham, Upper Gwynedd, Lower Gwynedd, North Wales, Lansdale, Hatfield, Blue Bell, Doylestown, and nearby towns with eating disorder therapy. Also providing virtual eating disorder therapy in New Jersey, Delaware, and Florida. Some towns served virtually but are not limited to Pittsburg, Lancaster, Harrisburg, Center City, Cherry Hill, Haddonfield, Mount Laurel, Cape May, Avalon, Brick, Dover, New Castle, Bethany Beach, Marydel, and Oceanview
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